


Mending

by ChloeWinchester



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-02
Updated: 2015-11-02
Packaged: 2018-04-29 13:48:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5129954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChloeWinchester/pseuds/ChloeWinchester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After leaving Excalibur with the Dark One, Belle and Rumple tend to something more important, each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mending

She was still shaking from the adrenaline, anger and...something she didn’t want to admit right now.

It was so much more real now that he was here. Before, when it was just the rose, somehow that was easier. It was easier to confess to, easier to whisper sweet things to and her fears and her doubts and all her pain. But now?

Now she felt like all the words were gummed up in her heart and clinging to her throat and she couldn’t get them out. Walking at his side, watching the lamplight dance in his hair, watching him move and breathe and look at her...look at her as he’s always looked at her. Like she was light itself, as if she were precious and perfect and she wanted to shake him and tell him it wasn’t true, it just wasn’t true she wasn’t perfect, she wasn’t his angel she…

She didn’t even save him. Emma did.

She didn’t save him from Zelena, Regina did.

She didn’t bring him back to life, Neal did.

She didn’t break his curse, the Apprentice took it away.

Belle didn’t feel deserving of that look, of his unyielding love for her, of his faith in her and his drive to keep her safe. Even when he was more afraid than he’d possibly ever been. She wanted to tell him she was proud of him, that he’d always been her hero, that no matter what happened she would always love him, but she couldn’t.

The words hit the back of her throat and stayed there, cupped in a painful bubble that kept her from speaking and twisted her stomach into knots and she remained quiet all the way to the shop.

Rumple immediately sought the back room and she followed, frowning in concern when he struggled to sit down. He kept his eyes closed a moment, breathing through pain.

“Hey,” she said gently, kneeling in front of him, meeting his watery eyes. “What’s wrong?”

He swallowed, lips pursed in shame before he answered. “My leg. Been walking on it too much, it hurts.”

She gave a gentle smile and rose, pressing a hand on his shoulder as she went to a nearby cabinet and took out the first aid kit.

“All the horrible things that happen around here you never know who could need a bandage,” she smiled, kneeling back down and opening it. She broke one of the heat packs open, carefully lifting his pant leg and pressed it to his ankle where the scar tissue was. He let out a breath, stammering and blushing when she brought a chair over for him to prop his leg on.

“You don’t have to punish yourself for this,” she whispered, looking up at him. “You deserve relief, it’s not something you have to be ashamed of, Rumple.”

“I-I told you why I am,” he muttered.

She lifted his chin, shaking her head. “And I don’t believe you.” He frowned at her and she touched his knee. “I believe you were scared to fight. Scared to die, just like everyone else that was with you. But you didn’t cripple yourself until that Seer told you about your son. Frightened as you were, I do not believe you only did that because you were afraid you would die. You didn’t walk into a blazing castle because you were afraid to die, you stole the dagger from it to protect your son. And you threw yourself in front of a bear to protect me.”

“Eventually,” he muttered. Belle sighed.

“Stop that.”

“Stop what?”

“Undermining yourself! Telling yourself you haven’t done the things you’ve done! Telling yourself you’re a coward and proving everyone that’s ever called you that right!”

“They are right!” He bit back, staring at her. “Damn it, Belle, they are! How can I live this long, for so many centuries and still have that word thrown at me like the slur it is?! How can I not agree with them after all this time, Belle, how?!”

“What makes you a coward?” Belle demanded.

“Running,” he hissed. “Running. I tried to run with Bae and that didn’t work, I still almost lost him. I kissed the boot of the man I was running from because of my cowardice. I tried running with you and…”

“And I wanted you to believe that even if you couldn’t do it alone we could do it together,” she whispered, looking away. “I shouldn’t have walked away.”

“You’d every right to.”

“No,” she shook her head. “I spend so much time talking about fighting for you and when it actually came to it for me to defend you, to you, I didn’t. I walked away from my problems instead of talking about them. Like at the town line. Twice now, I guess.”

He didn’t say anything. His lips shook a little and he searched for words but they didn’t come. Belle gently squeezed his knee and cleared her throat.

“Where else are you hurt?”

“I’m fine,” he assured.

She smiled a little. “That’s not what I asked.”

“My ribs are bruised, I think. And my shoulder,” he mumbled, smiling back at her just a touch.

“Can I see?” She wanted to help ease as much pain as she could, seeing as she’d caused him enough today. He flushed a little, but nodded, carefully stripping out of his clothes.

Belle felt her own cheeks color, trying not to linger too much on his skin, but any idea of that was shattered when she saw what he meant by bruised.

Purplish-black spots decorated one side of his ribcage, as if he’d been kicked there repeatedly. His shoulder had another heavy bruise forming quickly from where the bear had struck him, another on the opposite arm from where he landed. He was scraped up in places, battered, really, and he hadn’t said a word about it.

“Rumple,” she whispered. “What’s happened to you? Is this all from the bear?” She asked, sitting up on her knees to touch him. His cheeks pinked a little more and he shook his head.

“N-no, Merida’s training had a bit to do with it,” he whispered. “I wasn’t good enough.”

“So she hit you?!” Her tone was sharp, anger directed elsewhere, but he still winced and nodded, startled by the outburst. She softened, coaxing him to look at her.

“It’s not your fault. You didn’t deserve that,” she assured. He nodded a little, but he didn’t altogether look as if he believed her.

Belle treated his injuries as best as she could, making sure nothing was broken, and smiled at him when she was done. “There,” she whispered. “I can give you something for the pain, here.”

“It’s alright,” he assured, shaking his head.

“But you’re hurt.”

“It’s okay.”

She looked at him again. “You’re punishing yourself again.”

“Habit,” he whispered, taking the medicine when she gave it to him and swallowing it dry.

Belle looked at him a moment, sitting on the bed beside him as he pulled his shirt back on. “What all did you hear me say? When you were asleep?”

He blushed a little, looking at his hands. “Everything, I suppose. I heard you read to me. Heard you talk to me, curse my name. I heard...music at one point. Not your singing, a different kind. I heard you say that you wished...wished I was there to dance with you.”

Belle’s eyes grew, watching him. He heard her through the rose too. “There...there was a ball in Camelot. Everyone was so happy with each other and I...I missed you. I love dancing with you.”

He smiled sadly, looking at his leg. “I don’t know if that’s going to happen again anytime soon,” he breathed. Belle shook her head.

“We still managed before, when your leg was like this,” she smiled a little. “Limp or not, you’re a better dancer than any man I’ve met.”

He shook his head a little, giving her another soft smile that faded with the silence that fell, and it got heavier by the second. Eventually she looked away.

“Would it, um, be alright if I stayed here?” He said quietly. “I’ve nowhere else and I promise to stay out of your way if you want. I know...I know having me close isn’t something you want.”

“You know that for an absolute fact, do you?” Belle said, just as soft.

“Well I...I’m not sure where...where we stand.” He glanced at her. She folded her lips.

“Neither am I.” Tears welled in her eyes and she shook her head a little. “But I want to be sure. I want, I want to be with you so badly, I want to give in and love you with all I have but I’m so scared, Rumple. I’m so scared of being hurt again and I know you never intended that to happen but… but that’s how I feel.”

He nodded, looking away to hide the pain in his face. “I, I can leave, I can-”

“No.” She touched his arm. “I don’t want that. I know I don’t want that. I just got you back. I… Oh, Rumple, why didn’t you just talk to me?” She choked. “You could’ve told me why you wanted to free yourself from the dagger, we could’ve done it together! We could’ve found a better way! You didn’t have to lie to me.” Tears slipped down her cheeks. “You didn’t have to lie. Why did you think I wouldn’t understand? All you had to do was say something!”

“We’d just gotten married, I didn’t want to bother you with it, I didn’t want you to be unhappy,” he said. “And it was wrong. It was wrong of me to do and you had every right to banish me, Belle. Every one.”

“No,” she pursed her lips. “No, don’t you shoulder all the blame for this, absolutely not. I could’ve talked to you too. The moment I knew something was wrong I could’ve said something and I didn’t. I didn’t and I didn’t listen about the gauntlet and I let my pain do exactly what I did tonight-”

“Belle tonight you pushed me to be better than who I was. You showed me running can’t solve anything, you forced me to acknowledge that I might be able to do some good. How...how is that bad?”

“Because I needed to support you!” She implored, facing him entirely. “Berating you and leaving you? That isn’t right of me to do, it doesn’t matter if it worked. You look at me like I’m perfect and I can’t do any wrong and I’ve hurt you just as much as you’ve hurt me. You just don’t say so and you think I’m right every time because I’ve been declared a hero and it’s not true, it’s not true!”

Belle was sobbing and she hadn’t meant to be. Rumple quickly pulled her into his arms, smoothing her hair down. “Shh, shh, Belle, hey…” He whispered. “It’s not that I think you’re right. I think you make your own decisions. And how you feel is how you feel and I’m not going to dispute that. You felt betrayed and heartbroken when you found out I lied to you and you banished me. I knew I needed to help make up for that, but I had to be alive to do it, so I came back here. I take your words as gospel because whatever you’re feeling is your reality and it’s valid. Yes I… Being banished was one of the hardest things I’ve endured, but I didn’t blame you for it. I just wanted to prove to you I could be better. Even though I didn’t.”

She looked up at him, closer than she’d been in...she could hardly remember. His shirt was still open, her jacket was off. She could feel his warmth in his arms, see it in his eyes and she...couldn’t fight this anymore. Not like she had been.

He wiped her tears away, his own threatening to fall. She hated seeing him cry, she hated it so much.

“Yes you did,” she breathed. “Just awhile ago. But you, you’ve always been my hero.”

He let out a soft laugh, just looking at her. “I...I meant what I said to you. Before I touched the sword.”

“So did I,” she breathed, swallowing. “It’s, it’s never too late.”

She took a chance, delicately pressing her hand against his chest, just to feel his skin. His broad hands caressed her bared arms with a soft reverie, not daring to move from that exact spot, afraid to overstep, to frighten her away…

Belle gave in.

She pulled him close and kissed him, and she felt complete. That one, sweet, warm touch of his perfect mouth against hers was enough to settle the rough pounding of her heart and the trembling damage the adrenaline had done to her body.

He was so warm, so soft and...and there was no hesitation, no tension, just...just this blissful kiss. She felt tears on her face and she began crying again as well, moving closer to him, half in his lap. Her fingers found their way into his hair, touching the soft locks, touching him where she could reach just to remember him. How he felt, how his skin smelled, how completely he consumed her mouth.

She looked up at him when they broke apart, flushed and breathless. They both were.

“I want you to come home with me,” she whispered. “To our home. To stay. It won’t be...be exactly as it was, but...I want you to come home.”

He shut his eyes, smiling a little, brow pinched. She cupped his cheek, closing her own eyes, still pressed to him. “Thank you, Belle,” he whispered, looking at her again with his soft, sweet eyes.

“Don’t thank me until you gain some weight back, you’re too thin,” she said playfully, smiling at him.

“Well, I did go on this marvelous diet. Didn’t eat a thing for six weeks.” He smiled back at her and she laughed. His heart swelled.

“You really want me to come home with you, Miss French?” He whispered, brushing her hair back. She smiled back at him, nodding. Home with her, their bed, their embrace, their night, their morning, their life. Together. Mucked up as it might be right now.

“I do. Very much.” She kissed him again, another chaste brush of her lips. “And it’s Mrs. Gold.”

 


End file.
